My children are home educated.  I do not actively teach Susie, my elder daughter (3.5 years old), unless she asks me for more information on a particular subject, or for help with something she is unable to physically achieve.  That is not to say that she spends most of her time alone; far from it.  We go for walks, we often take a car ride to the top of a hill and watch the stars come out, we run around and climb on outdoor toys together, we cook together, read together, paint together, curl up on the sofa and watch television, and dolly changes her clothes at least three times every day! 

A few months ago, Susie started to ask about letters and I told her the names (rather than phonetics, as she did not seem to be interested in that format) and then she stopped talking about them just as suddenly, moving on to talk in more depth about numbers instead. Quite often, it becomes clear to a parent that a child has learned what the adult perceives to be an important point about the world around them, and so the parent is often disappointed when the child does not mention it again for several weeks.  This is widely believed to be the usual way in which most children learn - the information has not been lost, but simply stored away in long term memory for use later.  Perhaps the child mulls the information over, or perhaps s/he truly forgets until an external trigger bring the information to the fore again?  In any case, eventually, the information comes back into focus and the child takes the next step towards enhancing his/her knowledge around the given topic.

All the while we were singing songs such as "Ten In The Bed" and "Three Little Men In A Flying Saucer", my daughter's drawings were becoming more advanced.  Instead of depicting people in the "Humpty Dumpty" style, i.e. a face with arms and legs, Susie began to draw people with bodies, fingers and toes.  In fact, her drawings became so detailed that she even included pupils in the eyes, fingernails and nostrils.  All at once, there was a flurry of artistic activity showing great attention to detail in everything Susie produced: rectangular houses with windows, doors, curtains and a garden; rainbows with all the colours in the right order; trees, flowers, cars and aeroplanes; and much more.  Always one to enjoy 'playing' with numbers, she realised how to count backwards and began to sing the counting songs for herself.  Clearly satisfied with her performance, she subconsciously changed focus once again.

Perhaps it was her early appreciation of geometry, or drawing practice, or a mixture of the two that enabled Susie to take the next step to learning to write.  I have never encouraged her to write her name, but out of the blue, she asked me for help.  Because Susie did not understand that words should be read from left to right (she recited most of her books from memory), I pointed to the correct position on the page and told her which letter she should write.  I did not need to manually guide her hand as she knew how the letters should appear.  She wrote an 's', then a 'u' without the final downstroke, another 's' and a very careful 'i', even remembering to dot it.  The final 'e' made me realise that she had not learned to write by watching others, but by seeing the letters already written down.  She wrote the 'e' as if it were a 'D' - a downstroke to show the 'tail' and then a 'reversed c' to write the top half.  Rather than to take a pen and show her how to do it 'properly', I will continue to support her in her learning simply by writing notes by hand in front of her.  One day, she will most likely start to find her own way of writing letters more easily, or else she will ask for help once again.

Like Susie, most healthy children are naturally curious about the world in which they live, what other people are doing, and why things happen.  Parents watch as their children learn to walk, talk and feed themselves, and so much more information is absorbed every hour of the day.  Even at rest, a child's brain is processing the information gathered through the five senses during the waking hours.  When parents are confident in their child's natural ability to learn, they tend to stand back and watch the child explore by himself/herself and offer support and encouragement without pushing the child to learn extra information as if there is some kind of 'education' schedule to follow.  Every child has the potential to learn all s/he needs to know in life without being pressured into finding out extra information along the way, or being urged to learn at a more rapid rate.  Intervening without first seeking the child's permission often leads to confusion in the longer term, as the new 'taught' information is often seen by the child as being irrelevant at the time, and thus difficult to memorise.

If my child can do all these things without constant instruction from me, or any other person, then I can appreciate that she may one day develop her own interests in what adults would consider to be more advanced subjects.  Perhaps a walk in the lane will prompt an interest in how plants grow?  From planting a seed to talking about chlorophyll, I can help her access the information she wants.  Maybe Susie develops an interest in art? We could try painting with our fingers, make ornaments from modelling clay and I could take her to see professional artists to see how different methods are employed.  How about history?  From a trip to the British Museum to a ramble along Hadrian's Wall; from a history book to a real archaeological dig in Somerset, we can go anywhere our imagination leads.

I do not need to tell Susie what to learn, as she is an individual with a mind of her own.  Also, it is not necessary for me to have all the answers; I merely need to be able to help my child find them.